so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
