HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
