I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
