didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
