i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
