Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
