i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
My dick has a subreddit
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
