If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
