I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
