i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
