the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
