Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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