They should really pass out barf bags in church
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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