Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
