Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
