Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Randomize
