VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
