Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
