So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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