eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize