Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
