Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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