I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I think I sprained my soul last night
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
