Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
