It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
