i will never coherently bang her
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
