90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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