If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
