well I can't set my house on fire every night
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
