I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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