He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
