The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Is it penis luge time yet?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize
