No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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