Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
