He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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