Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
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