it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
