im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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