we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
