How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize