Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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