i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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