She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
