I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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