We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
