My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
