Pregnant stripper...not hot.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
