I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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