fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
