3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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