Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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