i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
