He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
