i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
