his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
