you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
