i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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