Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize