You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize