I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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