Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
