there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
