Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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