So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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