Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
